I am pleased to be able to say that my husband will be waking up at 5 a.m. tomorrow to go to work. It is his third day on "the job." After months of calling, popping in and generally driving everyone at the local temp agency, they finally found my husband a temporary job. We were told it would be two days of work, but tomorrow will be day three. We are thrilled.
That was the good news. Now for the bad news. We aren't sure if he will have enough gas in the car to actually get to work in the morning. He drove to work and back today on fumes. If he runs out, he will be at the mercy of whoever stops. The hits keep rolling in...
After getting every extension possible, if our cable/internet bill isn't paid by 5 p.m. Friday, it will be turned off. My husband will be paid on Friday - for one day of work. We are trusting God that I get earnings from all the places I write and, combined with with his paycheck, it will be enough to buy gas and pay the cable/internet bill.
Isn't that strange? I'm worried about the cable/internet bill when it seems that other things are more important - like food. Seeing that the only source of income we've had for a couple years has been the writing I do online, it does make sense. Why not cancel the cable and just have the internet? That makes sense, except for one little problem - we live in Oklahoma. Springtime is tornado season and wildfires are popping up everywhere. It is a safety issue not to have television service. Because we live in the middle of nowhere, we have to have cable to get any type of a signal.
As always, I am trusting God for a miracle. I am just a few dollars short of meeting the minimum payout for my Google Adsense account. I am also just a few dollars short of meeting the payout at Helium. With just a few more page views, I should be able to have that money in my pocket - which would be a big blessing to us.
That is the latest update on what is going on with my Social Security fight and life. Of course, if the Social Security Administration would do the right thing, we wouldn't be in the situation.
Showing posts with label past due bills. Show all posts
Showing posts with label past due bills. Show all posts
Monday, April 18, 2011
Saturday, February 12, 2011
In a Funk: Why Do They Call It "Depression?"
The past couple of days have been rough on me; depression is not fun. I hate it when I get depressed. I feel as if nothing will ever go my away again. I know it isn't true. The "self-absorbed pity party" isn't my thing, but I still suffer from depression no matter how I fight it. I'm the type of person that "choices to laugh" and when I hit the "depression wall," laughing doesn't feel like an option.
I've tried all sorts of medications for my depression. They don't work. They only make me more tired, more sluggish and more confused. I don't think there is a pill that can make my sadness go away. How can an anti-depressant help me not to feel sad that it hurts when my daughter hugs me? How can an anti-depressant make me not feel sad when I see all the hair in the tub after I wash it? How can an anti-depressant make me not feel sad as I struggle to fit into extra large sweatpants?
Of course, my mother's method to getting over depression only makes matters worse. "Think of people in worse shape than you are in and you'll feel better," she suggests. Who would ever think that would work? Thinking of the homeless, the hungry and the people who are sicker than I am only makes my depression worse.
Searching for my "happy place" is just as depressing. Rainbows and fluffy bunnies? That is not my style. I am a realist. As a realist, I know that depression is real and I have it. I have to deal with my depression one day at a time. I cry my eyes out, yell at a train and do what I can to move on. How else can you deal with depression?
I only have a couple of bouts of depression a week, so it isn't like I am depressed all the time. I have my "semi-happy" moments as well. I can't say that I have "totally happy moments" anymore. It is hard to be completely when you hurt all the time, the bills are past due and the hand life dealt you isn't very good. I just make the best of it and keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Tomorrow will be better. I tell myself that all the time. It will be better because it means today is over and will never come back. I try to hold on to little things like that. Not sure if it helps with the depression, but I know there is always hope - no matter how depressed I may be.
I've tried all sorts of medications for my depression. They don't work. They only make me more tired, more sluggish and more confused. I don't think there is a pill that can make my sadness go away. How can an anti-depressant help me not to feel sad that it hurts when my daughter hugs me? How can an anti-depressant make me not feel sad when I see all the hair in the tub after I wash it? How can an anti-depressant make me not feel sad as I struggle to fit into extra large sweatpants?
Of course, my mother's method to getting over depression only makes matters worse. "Think of people in worse shape than you are in and you'll feel better," she suggests. Who would ever think that would work? Thinking of the homeless, the hungry and the people who are sicker than I am only makes my depression worse.
Searching for my "happy place" is just as depressing. Rainbows and fluffy bunnies? That is not my style. I am a realist. As a realist, I know that depression is real and I have it. I have to deal with my depression one day at a time. I cry my eyes out, yell at a train and do what I can to move on. How else can you deal with depression?
I only have a couple of bouts of depression a week, so it isn't like I am depressed all the time. I have my "semi-happy" moments as well. I can't say that I have "totally happy moments" anymore. It is hard to be completely when you hurt all the time, the bills are past due and the hand life dealt you isn't very good. I just make the best of it and keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Tomorrow will be better. I tell myself that all the time. It will be better because it means today is over and will never come back. I try to hold on to little things like that. Not sure if it helps with the depression, but I know there is always hope - no matter how depressed I may be.
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