In a Funk: Why Do They Call It "Depression?"

The past couple of days have been rough on me; depression is not fun. I hate it when I get depressed. I feel as if nothing will ever go my away again. I know it isn't true. The "self-absorbed pity party" isn't my thing, but I still suffer from depression no matter how I fight it. I'm the type of person that "choices to laugh" and when I hit the "depression wall," laughing doesn't feel like an option.

I've tried all sorts of medications for my depression. They don't work. They only make me more tired, more sluggish and more confused. I don't think there is a pill that can make my sadness go away. How can an anti-depressant help me not to feel sad that it hurts when my daughter hugs me? How can an anti-depressant make me not feel sad when I see all the hair in the tub after I wash it? How can an anti-depressant make me not feel sad as I struggle to fit into extra large sweatpants?

Of course, my mother's method to getting over depression only makes matters worse. "Think of people in worse shape than you are in and you'll feel better," she suggests. Who would ever think that would work? Thinking of the homeless, the hungry and the people who are sicker than I am only makes my depression worse.

Searching for my "happy place" is just as depressing. Rainbows and fluffy bunnies? That is not my style. I am a realist. As a realist, I know that depression is real and I have it. I have to deal with my depression one day at a time. I cry my eyes out, yell at a train and do what I can to move on. How else can you deal with depression?

I only have a couple of bouts of depression a week, so it isn't like I am depressed all the time. I have my "semi-happy" moments as well. I can't say that I have "totally happy moments" anymore. It is hard to be completely when you hurt all the time, the bills are past due and the hand life dealt you isn't very good. I just make the best of it and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Tomorrow will be better. I tell myself that all the time. It will be better because it means today is over and will never come back. I try to hold on to little things like that. Not sure if it helps with the depression, but I know there is always hope - no matter how depressed I may be.

Restless Leg Syndrome and Fibromyalgia Kept Me Up All Night

I was up all night, fighting Restless Leg Syndrome and Fibromyalgia. No, not just Restless Leg Syndrome and not just Fibromyalgia. Both of them, at once, decided to keep me awake and in pain. Restless Leg Syndrome and Fibromyalgia should form a wrestling tag team. They would be unstoppable.

My poor husband also suffers from my Restless Leg Syndrome and Fibromyalgia. He didn't get much sleep either. With me tossing and turning and constantly kicking, he probably would have been better off on the couch. I tried the couch, but my arthritis can make the most comfy of couch feel like a bed of nails. He tried to be nice about it, but I could tell that around four this morning he'd had enough. Off to the kitchen for a much-too-early first cup of coffee in the morning. He tells me all the time "I feel like I have Restless Leg Syndrome and Fibromyalgia too." I wouldn't go quite that far, but I understand how he "suffers" from both Restless Leg Syndrome and Fibromyalgia.

The Restless Leg Syndrome I have isn't the "typical" Restless Leg Syndrome. Like almost everyone else who has it, I have the giant leg kicks for no reason. On top of that, I have little twitches up and down both legs. It is like an eye twitch, only there are thousands of them in both of my legs. They don't stop. I also feel hot needles travel through my thigh and calf muscles - like evil snakes whose only venom is pain. With Restless Leg Syndrome and Fibromyalgia combined, I'm not sure what I should do.

I have tried all sorts of medications to control it. I've been in a hot bath at three in the morning trying to get my legs to relax. My husband has tried massaging them, but the Fibromyalgia won't let him touch me. Changed my diet. Changed my bedtime. Changed my "get up" time. I have yet to find anything that will help. Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions of what I can try to better deal with Restless Leg Syndrome and Fibromyalgia? I'll try almost anything legal to feel better and sleep better. Then again, I hope no one reading this has a clue about it. I wouldn't wish Restless Leg Syndrome and Fibromyalgia on anyone.

With Restless Leg Syndrome and Fibromyalgia "attacking" me at once like it did last night, I woke up feeling like I had ran a couple of marathons and got beat up. My legs are sore and tired from all their activity. The Fibromyalgia pain is typical, but only worse. Imagine being tired and in pain, with no idea how to rest or stop the pain. That is where I am at now. I feel like I am walking around on noodles. Just another day in the life of someone with Restless Leg Syndrome and Fibromyalgia.

Don't get me wrong. I understand there are far worse things than having Restless Leg Syndrome and Fibromyalgia. I am thankful I have legs that can be restless and I am not paralyzed and unable to feel anything. I try to be thankful. On those mornings were Restless Leg Syndrome and Fibromyalgia have "tag teamed" me, it is more difficult than it should be.

Ahh, just another day in my life. I make it through with God's help. I can't wait until something changes and I am able to have the medications I need to not to suffer so much with Restless Leg Syndrome and Fibromyalgia. I've always heard "this, too, shall pass." I'm a believer in positive thinking. It is just hard to think the way you should when Restless Leg Syndrome and Fibromyalgia has kept you up all night.